IS YOUR SPOUSE FALLING OUT OF LOVE WITH YOU? (PART 3)

Who changed? (a personal story)

Displaying great neediness is a no no!!!

Women lose respect quickly for a man who ramps up efforts to dive into their psyche and draw out those inner most feelings or shows signs of emotional weakness himself.

Although, as I said, the roles have been blurred, our ancestral DNA still exists, and a man who gets on with life shows an outer will to keep moving and achieving is still attractive to a woman.

I watched this with two close friends not too long ago.

Things began to cool in their once passionate relationship because he had decided that the his successful and lucrative career path was no longer his ‘thing’.

She remained focused on her career and encouraged him to move forward with her.

He was no longer contributing to the ‘tribe’ yet expected her feelings toward him to remain strong. She began to withdraw from him and he became needier, financially and emotionally. The more he tried to engage her, whilst he searched for himself and his purpose, the worse it got.

The relationship ended. He proclaims to be a happy ‘drifter’, whilst she has gone to strength to strength professionally and a new relationship with a man who has goals in common with hers.

What you can do?

So, one of the first things to do if you if you want your wife to love you again, is take a good look at yourself and work out if you are showing any signs of change that has depleted her feelings for you.

Are you unhappy at work?

Have you changed physically?

Is a new pastime or hobby taking up more of your attention?

Have you taken her for granted as you became used to each other?

Self-assessment is one of the most useful and powerful tools we all possess, but rarely have the courage to implement.

You can never change anyone else, but you can change yourself

The most frustrating thing in a cooling relationship, and in this case, you are still in love with her, but she may not be, is by thinking we can actually change the way someone thinks, acts and feels.

Sadly, that is almost mission impossible.

As I said earlier, we go into our default mode of ‘Problem Solver’. I have been guilty of it, and it does not work.
When it becomes apparent that she may have fallen out of love, turn the tables by asking a question that could open her up to you, but you have to be prepared for the answer – good, bad or ugly.

“Darling, I feel there is something different between us. I’d really love to know if you think I have changed?”
You have acknowledged there is an issue.

You have shown, albeit subtly, that she is still your love by using a term of endearment that she is used to hearing from you.

You are asking her for an opinion, women are born to provide opinions and then you show strength by asking her to critique you. You are willing to hear the worst, you are willing to find out what she may not like about you or what you are doing.

And when she responds, let her speak.
Do not object, butt in, deny…just listen, and listen actively.

Answer any questions she poses to you honestly.

This one question could open her up and allow a flow of dialogue that starts to mend the bridges that she thought were broken and instill the most important factor that forms the basis of any loving relationship – respect – allow her to re- discover her respect for you.

She may even surprise you and share her own internal issues, an admission that maybe she has changed.

If you have the courage and want to make her love you again, look first for the changes you need to make by finding out what they are from the woman you love.

''YOU MUST DATE, FLIRT AND KEEP UP THE COURTSHIP FOREVER BECAUSE YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD ALWAYS BE MORE THAN SOMEONE WITH WHOM YOU SPLIT THE BILLS'' says Di Meglio

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